Self-Discovery and Self Reflection;
The Map of Identity
Who am I? What a beautifully intricate question with so much attached. Am I this person now breathing, quiet, contemplating, alive. Am I the girl who likes to climb trees and imagine she is the tree with roots swelling and soaking up the sun? Am I the woman who is on a constant search of self- love and connection with the universal ties that bind us all? Am I the little girl raised in the south on sunshine, strawberry’s, and Sunday school with bare feet? Am I the single woman making an effort to make it to independence? Am I me because I have goals and aspirations, who am I without a job? Am I the same girl because I work hard or if I choose leisure? Am I only when doing or only in non-movement me?
I am a part of this universe, I am a small part of the divine plan, and I am just a drop in the waterfall. I hope to help others along with path with guiding, genuine warmth. I am here right now. I am the girl who one question influences many, I am curious and soaking up all forms of learning. I am a writer, I poet, I am a runner, a cyclist, I am a team member, and a counselor, I am an expression of peace. Who I am resides in choices, especially the daily choice to survive accompanied by the choice to thrive. My most cherished memory is of my great grandmother helping me up the stairs when I was three, I remember her warmth and love so vividly and everything was just so big, so big, and I was so small. I’m not small any more but everything is still so big.
Some decisions that have shaped me are some of the best and worst decisions I have ever made. The decision to leave and the decision to return brought me to my education, brought me to a better self-understanding, and brought me to willingness to change. Sometimes when situations occur in our lives that seem as though they are the worst possible experience when we look back we can see how that opened us up for change and growth and we can see how we learn through realization of our pain and growing through that. I make the choices for myself but take the suggestions of others, and always the underlying tone of those suggestions are, don’t stop. Keep moving forward, keep growing, and don’t let your difficulties hold you back or tare you down. Keep pressing forward.
I take the risk of criticism from others by expressing myself as who I really I am. I take the risk of being misunderstood by loving all people as they are for who they are. I have taken the risk of carrying on in my internship even through the difficulties and hanging on a string in on class because of my absence and the critique and absence due to sickness of my supervisor. I took the risk of applying at the same job that I did not have the favorable outcome at prior at another location. Those who fail are those alone who have not striven. The only way we can reach a positive outcome is to keep pressing towards positive goals with the right motivations.
Often I am writing about the person I want to become, the person I plan on blossoming into. I hope to grow more character, to be more honest, to be my genuine self with no fears of others. I hope to be at peace and to offer that to others through giving of self. I hope to be at ease in most situations. I hope to be the person that a friend turns to in a time of need. I hope to be able to care for my parents when they are older. I want to be an inspiration to my nephew. I hope to be free in mind and body and to love limitlessly. I hope to be a calm presence in the midst of a chaotic world. I will be more self-reliant, stand on my own, yet allow others to lift me up when I need it. To recognize my own needs and the needs of others and move towards self-fulfillment while helping others reach their goals. I hope to be graceful movement and silent breathing. I hope to offer the same warmth and caring to others as the sun to the plants.
